This morning we were going about our usual stuff like announcements and prayer requests. A couple arrived late turned to me and asked me if I knew a certain person. I responded that I did. They informed me that he had passed away just this morning from a heart attack. Of course I was pretty shocked as was Val and others who had known this good friend of ours through the years. He is our age and it was just totally unexpected.

What makes our hearts heaviest though is that fact that he died without ever having gotten his relationship with God back in order. You see, if you met this guy he is one of the kindest, best mannered guys you could hope to meet. In the early years he was very active with the rest of us in church. Then out of the blue he walked away from his marriage, church, his relationship with God, his friends and who knows what else in order to pursue life as the person he felt he really was. Of course as always some folks were hurt and cut ties with him. Others hadn't seen any of this coming and were shocked and that was about it. Others of us had observed some things and figured this was the outcome of those things. These were the ones that tried to stick with him and love him through it all with the hope that he was being temporarily prodigal and eventually would be restored. A number of us prayed for that.

That response surprised him. he felt surely with the choices he had made he had burned all his bridges. Some of us weren't so willing to let them be burned that easily. Years of praying and being there, holding the door open hoping he would walk through it. But apparently that wasn't meant to be or maybe a better way of saying it was that wasn't the path he chose to take. So now we learn this morning the door is closed, permanently and not a thing we can do about it.

The question many of us are asking is, are we going to see him again? Did he have a chance to set things right? Or have we seen the last of him? some who hold to the unique theological perspective that nothing he did really mattered because in Christ he had GRACE and that takes care of everything believe he is in Heaven and that we will be seeing him again. This perspective comes from a uniquely American theology that I haven't found elsewhere in my travels outside the country. Unfortunately it serves to absolve folks of accountability and responsibility as well as the need for personal involvement or attention to spiritual transformation. According to those who practice this whatever sins you've committed during the day you just drop down on your knees at night, ask for forgiveness and then do it all again the next day and the next. As long as you do that you're okay. Check your little "done" box and God is satisfied because way back when....you said the sinners prayer and were baptized.

Problem is, you can't find support for this approach in Scripture. Sure you can pluck a few verses out of context and string them together to make it look like there is support for that. But doing that, you can make the Bible say pretty much anything you need it to say. Try looking at it in context and suddenly it's not so easy to make it say what you want.

thinking about this friend of ours my mind keeps going back to sections of Scripture like the one where Jesus startled his listeners out of their complacency with a single statement. For example in Matthew when Jesus made the point that just because a person calls him Lord doesn't mean he is going to let them into Heaven. Calling him Lord isn't a qualifier for that as some people within hearing range seemed to think. He even goes on to explain that a day is coming when people who thought they were going to get into Heaven are going to be quite stunned that he refuses them entrance.They will begin rattling off to him all the things that they did for him as if that qualified them for entrance. He responds pretty bluntly by telling them that even so they still managed to live a double life by personally living in a state of rebellion while doing those things. Then comes the clincher. He tells them he never knew them and commands them to depart from his presence.

Think about that. He says he never knew them. Meaning he never had a relationship with them not that he didn't know who they were. Obviously he does know who they are as he is able to confront them with the deeper details of their lives they have conveniently skipped over. They thought they knew him. They thought they were in a relationship with him. They thought they had taken all the steps - said the prayer, been dunked -  checked off their little lists and were all set to go when the time came. Seems they overlooked a little thing called spiritual transformation that comes through relational obedience. Jesus put his finger on it when he told them clearly that only those who did the will of his Father would actually make it through. A big oops  there as they faced the truth and now it was too late for a do-over. This isn't a real popular thing to talk about and some people may accuse me of saying a person can lose salvation. But that's not what I'm saying because that is not what Jesus said. Jesus said clearly they never had it. They may have thought they did and based on that to an extent they behaved like they did but their lack of practical obedience proved them wrong. Being active in their churches had nothing to do with it. Anyone can do that. Obedience though, that's harder because it requires surrender and that's what being a follower of Jesus is all about - surrender.

So we wonder about our friend. He walked away from it all, never really looking back. Maybe he had intentions to return at some point but those plans got short circuited by his heart attack. Or maybe he had no such intentions of returning. It makes you wonder if he ever really had a connection with God through Jesus in the first place? Only God knows the answer to that. Still, he was so nice and well mannered as I said. But then that's partly what makes our hearts heavy. What if it turns out that he is one of those that Jesus was talking about? Some who knew him tried to stay open and available so that God's love could come to him through us but now with his death we're powerless to do anything more that might facilitate that. It's hard to be helpless like that. You just want to reach out and grab him back. But he has crossed an invisible line and we can't follow, at least not yet since our time hasn't come. So now he alone has to give answers for the choices he made. To be honest, part of me is scared for him, concerned for him. Part of me hopes that somehow he managed to set things right before he passed. But I won't know the answer until I pass on myself  I guess and even then I suppose it is up to God if I am to know the answer to that or not. In the mean time, we are going to try to stay somewhat hopeful. It's hard to do though because the evidence before us suggests he didn't pursue an increasingly obedient lifestyle. It suggests the exact opposite. All we can do at this point is to hope, especially since only God has the big picture. One thing for sure, it certainly makes you examine your own life. So here's to our friend: Thanks for sharing your journey and your struggles with us. We're glad our lives crossed paths. here's hoping that we will see you again. For now, we love you and miss you bro...Vaya con Dios Charles....vaya con Dios....

Going to save you guys some unneeded pain and suffering by sharing mine.

My work means traveling by plane several times a year. My laptop is always in tow both for work and school purposes. My latest trip as part of a new international task force took me to the eastern seaboard this past December just before my finals. I don't recommend doing it that way but hey sometimes there isn't a choice!

As anyone who travels regularly with a laptop, it's a pain to have to take it out of the bag and put it in it's own bin to be checked through the x-ray machine but that's the only way to tell its the real deal since all your cords and accessories are in the bag too on x-rays it is very difficult to tell what you are looking at. Anyway I recently came across an article talking about CTF (Check-Thru-Friendly) laptop bags. I knew they were coming I just didn't know they were already out there. Apparently the TSA met with companies early last year and told the companies what the requirement would be for such bags and told them to knock themselves out. Eight companies came out with models the TSA approved. I researched them as best I could and settled on a bag from a company called Aerovation. My December trip was going to be the trial run.

The basic concept of CTF bags is that the bag has a separate compartment for the laptop alone. When you get to the x-ray machine all you do is  lay it out flat (imagine a butterfly with its wings open) the computer is in one half and everything else in the other....no opening....no extra bin....no hassle....time saved.

At the x-ray machine the bag I ordered worked flawlessly. The two halves are held together by velcro. You just pull 'em apart and lay 'em flat. Then at the other side you just pick up the bag by the handle and the two halves are supposed to come together again and stay that way held by velcro - industrial velcro at that.

Good concept in theory but in real life.....phew! The velcro doesn't hold the halves together for very long. As you are walking the velcro releases and one half of the bag goes one way while the other half of the bag goes the other way. It's a very odd sight and very embarrassing if it happens to you. Rounding up cows is easier than trying to get the two halves together while you are standing there. You have to take it off and lie it down and squash them together. Pick it up walk a bit and have it happen all over again. Got to seriously wonder how this bag ever made it out of testing if there was any testing to begin with.

I decided to return my bag following their instructions on the receipt. What an experience. Their Customer Service line kept hanging up on me. The email address on their web site didn't work, twice bouncing my emails back to me. I finally found another email address on their web site and tried that one. It worked....I think...I don't know because they never responded to that initial email. Interesting thing is that the company doesn't even follow their own return instructions listed on the receipt that comes with your order. After the 7-10 business days had passed during which I was supposed to have received return prepaid shipping labels, I contacted them because they weren't responding. They never acknowledged my original request or sent the labels. So in my follow up I nicely told them I'd expect the labels by a certain date. If they weren't received by then I would understand that to mean they were not going to send me the labels or refund the purchase and I would contact the BBB and FTC to file a complaint if that's what it took to get the labels and get my refund. Well apparently that got Aerovation's attention and I finally got an email from them. I got what is probably the strangest response I've ever had from a company. The rep said, "We don't resell bags for hygiene reasons, just throw the bag in the trash. By the way did our center refund you?" Let's see... people buy all kinds of bags...purses....luggage.....backpacks....etc.  and return them to the place they bought them from if they aren't satisfied, hygiene never enters the equation. They're strict about hygiene but not about their return policies? Makes ya wonder...

So Grasshopper....what do you learn from all this? First CTF bags held together by velcro aren't gonna do the job so stay away from 'em. Second, doing business with a company that doesn't respond or acknowledge customer communication, and doesn't follow it's own return policies is like rolling dice. You have a 50/50 chance it will go either way. With the current economic conditions that's a gamble not many people feel comfortable making. It's better to ask around and seek out recommendations from others, which is what I should have done. I am steering clear of CTF bags that use velcro (forever!). Soooo now I'm in the hunt for a new CTF bag from some other source. Oh yeah.....the rep also said I was being taken off their mailing list. Fine with me....think hygiene has something to do with it maybe?

Well I have been in school all this week. One of those mini term classes 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. for a week then another week on projects and such. This for me is the first class I have taken since going back to school that was not online. It has been kind of strange being back in a real classroom. I graduated from here with my original degree years ago. I am back and much has changed and yet there are a lot of things that haven't changed. I feel like someone turned back the clock. I am expecting my old advisor and old college classmates and friends to turn the corner any minute. But they don't come. It's kinda like being surrounded by ghosts. lots of memories here. I kind of miss not having those people pop around the corner.

Today was the first time I actually ate lunch in the cafeteria since I graduated. It was definitely a huge improvement. Looked much better although it was kind of dark. Food was much better too. They actually had different areas set up for different types of food. You pick what you wanted. There are other options but one of 'em is closed for remodeling. The other is just a light snack kind of place for class breaks and stuff like that. I discovered there is a General Store next to the cafeteria. That wasn't there before. Haven't explored that yet to see what it is about.

Returning to school after a couple of decades has its advantages. Most of the advantages are in class. Outside of class the advantages end. For example, the way expensive tuition....makes ya wish you went straight back to school after you graduated! As I sat in the cafeteria today, I looked around at all the others that were eating. The vast majority were undergraduates. It felt kinda like the fabric of the universe was ripped. I just felt out of place. It felt like I was dreaming and would wake up any moment. But I knew it was real. Sitting there eating I looked at these kids thinking....they have no idea how quickly it goes by. I sincerely hope every one of them takes every second for all its worth because you pass that way only once.

Another thing I saw today outside my class was advisors sitting down at tables with students mapping out classes for the Fall together. I couldn't help but wonder....where would life take them? Did they know they were more or less planning out their lives in those few moments of planning? One guy had an advisor and another person sitting next to him. The advisor was speaking pretty animatedly. It looked to me like the guy must have not done so well in school and the advisor must have sat him down and was doing his best to help this guy seriously weigh out his options. Looked like they were trying to help him decide if it was in his best interest to continue or not.

Funny thing about all this is I never noticed any of it before when I was here the first time around. But then, I was too busy living in the moment just like I bet most of the kids are doing right now...question is, 20 or so years down the road are they going to be sitting here having these same thoughts about future generations as I have now about them?